Of Ears and Kaze no Kizu: The Continuing Adventure
by knittingknots
Summary: Crackfic! Two fangirlz find themselves zapped into an InuYasha fanfic, armed only with a bottle of sake, a bowl of popcorn and a pink plotbunny as a sidekick. How much mayhem can they create before finding their way home. cowritten with InuHanyouNikkie
1. How It Began

Disclosure: I do not own InuYasha or any characters created by Rumiko Takahashi

Of Ears and Kaze no Kizu: The Continuing Adventures of Nikkie and KK in the Sengoku Jidai

Chapter 1: How It Began

It all started, of course, because Nikkie is a sucker for ears. Lovely white triangular ears.InuYasha type ears.

There we were, looking at her latest fantasy.

"Hey, Nikkie," says I.

"Yeah, KK?" says she.

"If Inu were here and seeing what you were doing to him, you'd be lucky if he didn't Kaze no Kizu you, much less give you any ear time," says I.

She snickered. "Let me type in this chant. That'll be the perfect piece."

"You sure you want to? You don't know where that chant's been," says I. "Who gave it to you anyway?"

"Ha! It was just that doofy guy doing Naraku cosplay," says Nikkie. "And it wasn't even very good cosplay. Did you hear him try to "Kukuku?"

"You mean you actually trust people you mean at a con?" says I.

Giggling, Nikkie hits save.

Suddenly, her computer flashes with the strangest light, which reaches up and engulfs the two of us. We shriek as the room, the computer and everything but me and her seem to disappear.

""KK," says she.

"Yeah, Nikkie?" says I.

"I don't think we're at the hotel any more..."

She's right, of course. Instead of the nice familiarity of the usual cookie cutter hotel room with it's stupid air conditioner and heavy drapes and plastic feeling bedspreads, we're in a gray place. Can't see the ground, can't see anybody but Nikkie.

"Ooops..." says I, biting my lip, trying not to say "I told you so."

"You told me not to do it," she says, which saves me from my dilemma.

"So how do we get out of here and get back home?" says I.

A figure strides out of the shadows.

"Oi, what do we have here? Fangirlz lost in the magic?" he says.

"Don't eat me!" says I, hiding my face.

"Hardly," says the figure.

"Look, KK, he has ears!" says Nikkie.

I peak through my fingers. I don't believe it. The figure before us has wild green eyes and wild red hair, and two wonderful fox ears poking through the red mess. And a very familar smirk.

"Dammit, Snark, where are we and how did we get here?" says I.

"You know him?" asks Nikkie.

"Of course she does. I'm the Snark Monster. I'm the one who helps her write all that funny stuff you giggle over."

"You never told me he was hot," says Nikkie.

"I never got past the hair and ears and eyes," says I. "I was always to busy typing to notice. Aggressive, snarky muses can be like that you know."

"Hmpf," he says.

"Can I touch your ears?" Nikkie asks. Snark wiggles them enticingly. She reaches up, touches the tip of one, and gets jolted.

"That wasn't very nice, Snark," says I.

He smirks.

"Ok," says Nikkie. "So where are we, how did we get here, and how do we get home?' she asks.

"You are in the realm between stories," says Snark. "I don't know how you got here; must have been something you typed."

"That chant you put into your story, Nikkie," says I.

"Let me look," says Snark. He blinks out of existance for a moment, then reappears.

"How'd you do that?" I asked.

"Muse power," he replies. "Yep. That was a bad thing, Nikkie. You two are doomed to the realm between stories forever, unless..."

"Unless what?" asks Nikkie.

"Well, I could pop you into the story you were writing," he says, thinking. "Maybe if you went there and got the Shikon no Tama away from InuYasha and Kagome, you could make a wish to go home."

"You want to put us into HER story?" says I, my voice rising to a screech.

"I can't put you into yours. Yours is too serious. You don't even let me peek. That Fabio-clone who helps you write that fluff hates my guts."

I blush.

"You have multiple muses?" Nikkie asks.

"Yeah she does. And they are all guys," says Snark. "But none of the others are quite as cool as I," he smirks.

"Well, I guess we'll have to do it," Nikkie says. "What other choice do we have?"

"Cool. Wait here a second," says Snark. He blinks out, then pops back, carrying a huge yellow backpack.

"Did you steal that from Kagome?" I ask.

"Who me? Would I do such a thing?"

We both nod.

He does something, and it turns dayglow pink. "Feel better now?"

"Oh, so 60s," I mutter, then nod.

Unzipping the back, he sys, "I give you some treasures for your journey." First, he pulls two folding lounge chairs out of thin air, stuffs them in the bag.

"How did you do that?" Nikkie asks.

"Tardis technology," he says. "Don't look like Tom Baker for nothing. You'll need the chairs, take my word for it. Now for another treasure." He pulls out a sake set and jug of sake. "The sake of true enlightenment. It never goes empty, but it can give you a nasty headache as part of your enlightenment. Use carefully." He stashes them in the bag. He grabs a huge bowl from somewhere. "The never ending bowl of popcorn. Believe me, you will be needing this a lot." He zips up the bag, hands it to me. It weighs almost nothing.

"Oh, one more thing. You gotta have a guide." He reached wherever it is he's been getting these things from, and pulled out something as pink as the pack. He dumps it on the ground Slowly it uncurls, and shortly, standing before us is a waist high curly mopped pink bunny.

"What is that?" Nikkie asks.

"A plot bunny," Snark says. "She'll get you through to the end. I think."

"Of course I will," says the bunny. She slowly opens one eye. "Hi! My name is Pink! Do you like popcorn?" she says.

"Well, that's taken care off. Now go." says Snark.

Suddenly the ground underneath us turns into a hole. We fall, land on the ground. There is a huge explosion and the sound of trees falling. Somewhere, a loud, angry male voice is yelling "Kaze no Kizu!"

"Duck!" says I. And we proceed to.


	2. Go Fish

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any characters created by Rumiko Takahashi

Of Ears and Kaze no Kizu: The Continuing Adventures of Nikkie and KK in the Sengoku Jidai

Not really chapter 2: Go Fish

So there we were, me and Nikkie, sneaking up on the gang. It had been a long hard pull since our last misadventure, where Miroku had to come and exorcise everybody who had come in contact with the strange possession that had taken over Kikyou and Byakuya. It had taken him awhile, but once Sango had started to fantasize about what she could do with various and sundry leather instruments, Miroku had finally gotten off his duff and torn his eyes away from the results and got the last of the magics off everybody in the group.. The air was clean again, and whatever miasma that had once signalled the fact that Naraku ws in the area was now gone.

So, finding a decent place to camp, not too far from a hotspring and very close to a cold mountain stream, the merry band of misfits made camp.

As usual, Nikki and I, and our faithful partner in crime, the pink plotbunny known wide and far as Pink set up our lounge chairs, pulled out the never ending bowl of popcorn, and unstoppered the saki.

"Hey, Nikkie," says I.

"Yeah, KK?" says she.

"Feels good to sit, don't it?" says I.

Pink rolls her eyes. "You know, I doubt if we walked a hundred yards today."

"That's besides the point, Pink, my friend." I say, sagely, wiggling my toes.

The campers seem to agree. InuYasha is sitting there, with his head in Kagome's lap, enjoying an ear job. Sesshoumaru and Kagura sit next to each other, pretending to be inscrutable, but anybody can feel the tension in the air between them. Rin runs around trying to catch butterflies and Shippou is contemplating what would happen if he jumped on InuYasha's middle.

Jaken lies alone, moaning.

"Why don't you go fishing, Inu-chan," Kagome asks sweetly. "If I have to eat another piece of popcorn, I'll think I'll scream."

We had run out of ramen the day before yesterday. InuYasha sighs, unwilling to move.

Pink the plotbunny looks at Kagome as if she were mad. "Impossible to eat too much popcorn," she says. Pink lives for popcorn.

"Speak for yourself," says Jaken, still moaning with a tummy ache. Jaken had tried to eat an entire never-ending bowl of popcorn himself. It was not a pretty sight.

"Poor Jaken," says Rin. "Would you like a flower?"

"Impudent ningen girl," says Jaken.

Sesshoumaru, staring deeply into Kagura's eyes, says, "Jaken, be silent. "Rin, go with Shippou to the meadow by the river. See how many yellow flowers you can find."

"Yes!" says Jaken.

"Why me?" says Shippou.

"Have fun," says I.

"I want some fish," says Kagome.

"Fish would be nice," says Sango, polishing her boomerang.

"Don't wanna," says Inu. His eyes are closed, a silly blissful look on his face. She idly teases the tip of one of his ears.

"But I want some," says Kagome.

"So do I, " says Inu, his voice dropping huskily. It was obvious they were not talking about the same thing.

Kagome gets up in a huff, dumping InuYasha's head on the ground. "I want some fish," she says.

Sesshoumaru, sparks of youki flying, puts Kagura on his lap.

"But I don't wanna!" says Inu, standing up, rubbing the back of his head..

Sesshoumaru, ignoring the whining, licks Kagura on the neck.

"Want some popcorn?" says Pink, offering me the bowl.

I pass it to Nikkie. Kagome was right. We've been eating way too much popcorn.

"No more ears," says Kagome, "until I have some fish." She turns and gives Nikkie, who has been known to do the ear thing on the sly, the meanest and scariest of looks. "And don't you get any ideas, fangirl!"

Kagura closes her red eyes and moans as Sesshoumaru explores the neckline of her kimono. A small swirl of wind arises, circling the two of them.

"But Kagome..." says Inu.

"No buts," says Kagome.

"What do you do with a whiney Inu,  
Whiney Inu, whiney Inu,  
What do you do with a whiney Inu  
Early in the morning..." sings Pink.

InuYasha gives Pink a nasty look, but at that moment, Kagome grabs his arm. "Go fish!"

Miroku stands up, trying to peel his eyes off of Sesshoumaru, who is busily exploring Kagura's collarbone. "I'll think I'll take a walk before Sango decides to hit me," he announces.

InuYasha moves closer to Kagome, and tries the puppy eyes. "But Kagome, I've got something better than a fish."

Kagome's eys begin to flash, in that firey way only hers can shine. We all know the signs, and pull back, lest we be caught in the debris when it falls.

Kagura, eyes closed, moans.

"Stand him up and make him sit down,  
Stand him up and make him sit down,  
Stand him up and make him sit down  
Early in the morning," sings Pink.

"Inu," says Kagome, in that sweet, dangerous voice.

Inu licks his lips.

"Osuwari."

"Brother," says Sesshoumaru. "Kindly keep your dust to yourself."


End file.
